apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
