Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
