how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
