where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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