I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
