Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
