so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
