What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my nose is crying tears of wow.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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