I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
