I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
