I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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