thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
