i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
