You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This is the high leading the old right now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
