He uses pillows to masturbate.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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