well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
