I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
