You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
