Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
