I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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