I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
