We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
