so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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