when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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