her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
