im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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