I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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