What a fucking waste of an outfit
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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