I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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