I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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