Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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