I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
