i don't plan on having that self control this summer
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
