And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
