My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
