Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
