I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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