I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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