I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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