Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
