I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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