How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
where does the pee come out of this thing
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
