im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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