That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She said her name was "party"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
