I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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