You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
