You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
