I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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