I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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