I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
