Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
